7:55 a.m. :: 2002-03-10
at the concert
the other night i went to a concert and met the most beautiful guy ive ever seen. he was the cousin of a singer ive lusted after for years. i went up to him and we started talking. it turns out he was engaged to be married, though only eighteen.
hearing this mad me so disappointed. i had gotten up the courage to talk to him, even though he was so gorgeous i could barely help from drooling. he was straight and interested in me! and promised to someone else.
when i got home i cried. i couldnt believe that Fate had sent him to taunt me, to lure me in with the most perfect specimen ive seen in real life and then snatching him away.
this is what ive been dreaming about. this is what i wish had happened.
he kicks my boot as im leaning over. he says, "come on" and i follow him to the stairwell. no ones there, the band is on and most are sitting in their seats, rapt with music. i hear the steady thrum of it throughout the place, the electricity making the air thick. i look at him and wonder if its him that makes it hard to breathe.
he takes my hand and smiles. he doesnt have perfect teeth, and most of the people ive been with havent. i wonder if i find it sexy. i reach up and take off his hat, so his hair is falling into his face, his incredible face, and then i touch it, wanting to close my eyes as i run my fingers through it but unable to tear them away from his. He moves closer to me, and he doesnt smell of beer or pot, which he claimed to be fucked up on. his breath is sweet and warm, and i let my vision blur, fade out, concentrating on the rhythm of his tongue beyond the defenses of my teeth. teasing, nipping, he goes deeper, until i am wrapped around him, clinging and writhing, feeling nothing but need.
hes thin, but still has definition, and it takes no effort for him to push me up against the wall. the crowd is cheering and my legs wrap around his hips. he lets his hands travel further up, over my thighs, beneath the skirt of my dress, cupping my ass to support my weight as he lowers his head to my cleavage. it seems they always go straight for that. i let my head fall back and it thumps loudly against the painted wall, but the pain is nothing. the stars in my head as from his expert suckling. he moves my bra out of the way, damn obstacle, and starts to knead my butt as he swirls his tongue around my nipple. i thrust my hips harder against his, digging my nails into his back through his shirt. my breath has become short, desperate gasps, and i want him so badly im about to cry.
he lifts his head and smiles again. i love his smile. his tongue travels over my collarbone and finds the tender spot beneath my ear. he envelopes the skin in his mouth and i grasp him harder. his fingers move from my ass, forward, lightly, gently, rubbing through the fabric of my panties. frustration makes me wild and i claw at his hair, tense my muscles, bite his shoulder.
wanting to make him as crazy as i feel, i drag my hands down between our bodies, somehow still managing to remain propped up against his body. hes hard and waiting and i slip my hand through his zipper, through the pocket of his boxers, and pull. his mouth tears from my neck and he groans. im laughing, giddy, breathless, irrational. his teeth drag across my jaw and nibble at my lower lip, gentle punishment for the taunting.
i start rubbing him, faster, slicker, my hands lubricated with sweat and anticipation. i cant stop panting and his fingers are returning the favor. i close my eyes and concentrate on the steady pumping, forcing myself to continue, feeling some undefinable pressure build up inside of me, faster and faster, taking over my body, until i cant stop the white hot scream from forcing out of my throat. no one hears over the music, and i dont think he heard, but it has made me limp, fulfilled, sated.
he wont have me placid for long.
he gives me a quick kiss and travels down. i let my legs drop to the floor, thinking its over, thinking thats all folks. i dont want to cry. but i feel his hands on my thighs again and theyre dragging my legs up, resting them on his shoulders, his hands grasping my hips. i try to find something to hold on to but can only flatten my hands against the wall and roll my eyes up in pleasure. his teeth pull the fabric aside and find me.
his tongue. god his lips. the suction of his hot, wet, frantic mouth. im lost in the plunging of his tongue and he said he would be doing this.
its too much. god i cant handle it. i cant breathe or see or feel anything but the pulsing nerves gathered where his tongue is stroking.
"stop." im gasping, i dont really want him to, and he knows, he smells my desperation. with another lingering kiss on the swollen flesh, he stands again, and my legs find their previous position about his hips. im grateful i can hold onto him again. he kisses me and his fingers drag my panties off, a difficult and almost awkward task as i have to maneuver my legs to let them drop to the floor.
then im open and waiting. he doesnt smile, he cant form any expression, only stares at my face as he moves in. im thinking hes too big, its not going to fit, its going to hurt and it will ruin everything. i feel a little resistance, and my eyes flood, and he understands, licks the tears away. hes inside of me and hes not going to stop, and even though it hurts i dont want him to.
he lets out a long breath and i suck it in. somehow having him inside of me in another way makes it easier. my cunt loosens, relaxes, and begins to enjoy the new adjustment. he waits for longer, the perfect lover, and then pushes out and in again. my head falls back again and my jaw drops open, letting little frantic sounds of pleasure out.
hes moving faster now. harder. his hands tighten and his nostrils flare. he doesnt close his eyes, and i wrap my arms around his neck to keep my gaze level with his. i never knew you could be this close to someone and still find new things to notice. the way his hair is mussed from my hands, the way his brow is slightly furrowed, the intensity of his eyes. i kiss his jaw, his lips, his eyes. he moves faster. i drag my teeth over his cheekbone, find the lobe of his ear. he slams me against the wall and shoves in with all of his might. he suspends, trembling, gasping, and lets his lids fall, grappling for control.
i dont want him to be composed. not after how hes broken me.
i reach down and find where we are joined. i massage the little exposure of flesh just above his penis, applying just enough pressure to make him groan. he lets go and i feel him letting it out inside of me, my cunt following the form of his dick as it goes softer.
he buries his face in my neck and kisses it again. were both wet with sweat and i dont even remember if i have my dress on anymore. i trail my fingers through his hair again, breathing him in.
hes so beautiful.
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